BY PHYLLIS COULTER
Easing from one generation to the next can bring serious challenges for farm families, but Elaine Froese brought a whole load of ideas down from Canada to help young farmers.
Equipped with a phone in one hand, she took the stage at the Illinois Farm Bureau Young Leader Conference 2025 in East Peoria on Feb. 8 entering an interactive conversation with audience members who texted her comments and questions as she spoke.
Froese, known as the “Dr. Phil for farmers,” grapples with the same issues as young farmers in Illinois on her family’s farm in Manitoba, Canada.
In a room with about 425 participants, texts started rolling in about difficult things to talk about from income streams and fair compensation to servicing debt.
“These lead to anxiety about the future – the pain of not knowing,” she said acknowledging these are real concerns. “In the ‘I’ States it takes $84,000 a year just for family living.”
When a generation will “step back,” not necessarily “step away” is a tough topic. That day came a little earlier on her family farm than she expected when her husband was in a serious accident. Her son, in his 30s, was suddenly managing the farm while she and her husband were miles away in hospital, said Froese, now 68.
“Take charge,” and set up a family meeting, she encouraged Young Leaders. “Come with curiosity” ready for communication.
“‘I am curious’ is a phrase that pays.” If you want to know when you will have more say on the farm, start with “I am curious,” Froese said. Another conversation starter is “I am curious about our equity.”
At the same time, she cautioned, “Being born on a farm in Illinois doesn’t mean you have the skill or the right to be part of the next farming generation.”
One farmer told her he feared his son would take over and “screw it up.”
Ask open-ended questions and listen, she advised.
“Tell me more” is another “phrase that pays.” Froese used it when her family’s plan, it seemed, was for the next generation to move into her home and she and her husband would move — until her daughter-in-law asked a question that led to a conversation. “Kendra saved me half a million dollars.” Froese and her husband stayed; their son and family built a dream home on the farm instead.
Another helpful phrase: “That was then. This is now.” helps families put things into perspective including work-life balance, or work-life blending, as she calls it. A young woman told Froese she felt “shamed” by her workaholic father because she wanted more family time away from the farm. Froese suggested the woman write a letter to her dad to start a conversation.
“The power of a letter is huge,” Froese said.
Families find ways to live their choices, she said mentioning a father who leaves harvest long enough to put his child to bed. Others stay connected to their kids by text and Facetime from the cab.
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Content for this story was provided by FarmWeekNow.com.